Marty's Bon Mots (Selections found in: Glad You Asked)

Recerccio de la Jersia

Recerccio de la Jersia
An Opera in Three Acts

Act One

Labradoria reclines in a hammock in the town of Hydrantia when Grossotto bursts into to his backyard complaining that his presence is upsetting her newly arrived and delicately disposed niece, Fifi. She explains that Fifi has recently arrived from Wyckoffia in order to escape her step father, Cassineste, who is hopelessly addicted to pinochle. (Businesse este inna toilete). Overhearing Grossotto’s bellowing alto, Fifi more fully explains her situation to Labradoria (Tu mucha Mahnike Businesse) advising that Cassineste has many addictions aside from pinochle. Included within many of Cassineste’s growing troubles is his unnatural attraction to red enameled entrenching tools. At first Labradoria seems sympathetic to Fifi’s plight and relates this to Grossotto (Atta sucksa fo hera). But when Labradoria finally sees Fifi, he suddenly realizes that he is passionately in love with her (Atsa hotta stuffa). Fifi finally notices Labradoria and quickly turns to leave announcing that she cannot have anything to do with him because she is promised to the Duke of Hopatcong, the fearsome Herbie. (Goombah Herbie nunja like). Anyway she is late to a party that Herbie will be throwing in honor of their nigh approaching nuptials and Fifi rushes off. Labradoria attempts to follow her but he is suddenly run over by Grossotto’s husband, Trader Giussepe in his garbage truck. Giussepe is horrified at the condition of Labradoria and offers to put him out of his misery by calling his nephew, Sichewachin, asking him to bring over his steam roller (Crusha da suckaza’s gutso). Sichewachin arrives only to catch a glimpse of the fleeing Fifi. Sichewachin suddenly realizes that Fifi is the long lost sister of his friend, Kunta Kuntessa (Ay! Looka da punim). Labradoria tells Sichewachin of Herbie’s party and Sichewachin tells Kunta of the party. Labroadoria miraculously recovers and all of them decide to attend the party uninvited for their own reasons (Quartet – Gedda Loadon Annahow).

Act Two

The uninvited Labradoria decides to dress up as a female in order to remain unthreatening to the fearsome Herbie. Fortunately, Hopatcong women all have mustaches. (Femalia, dey luka lakka mah grannapapa). Labradoria is approached by Verdespan. Verdespan is a wealthy and very elderly gentleman who is in charge of all the finances of Hydrantia and thinking him a woman, expresses an interest in Labradoria (Molto ricci y molto hornoso). While trying not to make a scene, Labradoria attempts to extract himself from Verdespan’s advances and make inroads towards Herbie in order to see if he can persuade Herbie to give up Fifi. In the process, it becomes obvious that Herbie is himself now attracted to Labradoria. (Haboy ah donna needa dees). Meanwhile Sichewachin has disguised himself as the Viscount of Wyckoffia in order to advise Fifi of Kunta Kuntessa’s presence and his equal desire to reestablish his relationship with his long lost sister. However Fifi, who at one point ran a side business selling lists of newly available wealthy widows, would have recognized the Viscount of Wyckoffia as one of her clients and knows that Sichewachin is a fraud. (Dica guysa fulla mozzarella). However, just as Fifi is about to denounce Sichewachin as a fraud, Trader Giussepe, who is dressed as a court jester, intervenes between Fifi and Sichewachin and gently tries to persuade Fifi that Sichewachin is actually here to represent Fifi’s best interests and also to advise that Herbie is completely wrong for her. (Paysan! Wakeuppa enna smella d’coffee). After being told of the combined efforts of Labradoria, Trader Giussepe and Sichewachin, Fifi suddenly realizes the huge mistake with which she is about to embark (Ahva binna putza). Labradoria, however, now finds himself attempting to extricate himself from the attentions of both Verdespan and Herbie and finally is able to leave despite the protests of both Verdespan and Herbie. (Trio – Layde fe dees/Ahschpetz! Weh yu tinka yu gowann!).

Act Three

At Labradoria’s house, Grossotto scolds Labradoria, Fifi, Sichewachin and Trader Giussepe. (Whassa madda fromma yu?). The four of them defend themselves in front of Grossotto advising her that they were acting in the best interests of Fifi. (Eh fuhgeddaboudid). After which Herbie rushes in with his entourage and begs forgiveness from Fifi (Ahva binna a bigga putza). Verdespan then enters the house looking for the previously disguised Labradoria. Both Herbie and Verdespan suddenly realize that the Labradoria they are currently confronting is the Labradoria who was disguised at the party. At first they are both angry at Labradoria but quickly become embarrassed. (Ah shudda brekka yu face). Verdespan suddenly realizes that Herbie will be getting a tax windfall from the town of Hydrantia and tells him about. (Eh yu sunzaba gunz). When Herbie and Verdespan smile at each other, they suddenly realize there is a genuine bond of affection between them they need to explore. (Izza thata gunna innayu pockete). Kunte Kuntessa shows up announcing he received a message from Sechewachin. Both Fifi and Kunte fall into each other’s arms happy in being reunited. The cast closes the opera with Donna pissuppa me bacha anna tella me itsa rainin.

posted by Marty Brounstein @ 11:08 AM