News in full spin
I’ve been writing about my family situation for the past few weeks and have, therefore, failed to post anything in quite a while. We’ve been quite busy.However, recent events floating within our news entertainment has been of such a caliber that warrants my pushing these other project temporarily aside in order that I might address these particularly juicy topics.
The spin doctors from left and right have been hard at work.
I can understand those who rally behind Sarah Palin. Look. She’s just pure fun. She’s terrific press. Face it. Don’t you think she says stupid things just to garner the press? She can’t really be that ignorant? Can she?
Recently, before being snubbed by Baroness Thatcher (more on this later) Sarah decided she needed to churn even more press. So off she goes on her tour bus and stops and fields questions involving revolutionary war history.
When my brother was in elementary school he learned of the ‘Midnight Ride of Paul Revere’. This was dashing stuff. Midnight. Galloping horses. Secret signals. Covert operations. Life and death. Heros. And so my brother was charged by his elementary school teacher to come up with an essay that would designed to vividly convey the extent to which this story had captured the imagination of his very tender young mind. In his little essay, he wrote the following, as was supposed to have been shouted by Mr. Revere in his midnight ride, “… The Britons are coming! The Britons are coming!” Isn’t that precious? In this same essay he wrote of a “chimendis battle”
Point of fact. Paul Revere, upon learning of the method and means by which the red coats were coming to apprehend the locals’ stores of gunpowder, rode through the town of Concord and loudly advised that “… the Regulars are coming…” You see, everyone then was a British subject. Warning about advancing British would be about as confusing then as yelling, “Watch out for the Americans” today.
As usual, Sarah put her uneducated foot in her face and decided to wing American history. She got things a tad confused. Warning settlers. Warning the British. They’re going to take our armaments. They’re going to prevent us from bearing arms. Whatever. The stone fact of the matter is, she blew it. Automatically, however, the apologists start to spin hard.
“No! No!” They say. “She got it right.” Her handlers tried to spin it in such a way that Revere did, in fact, warn the British not to take our arms, by advising everyone that we would be left defenseless if we didn’t pull off some fast three card monty. Wouldn’t it be less of an exercise in wholesale disingenuousness if she just came out with it and said the heat of the moment got to her and she misspoke?
Such an idiot is she that in a hopeless attempt at proving to the world exactly how worldly she is, Sarah is taking her tour to, of all places, Europe! How exotic! London! Paris! Rome! Wait a minute … Sounds more like a vacation than a diplomatic proving ground. Regardless. She had made it known that she much admired the former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, known now as Baronness Thatcher. And so, Sarah attempted to reach out with a meet and greet and a potential photo op. Thatcher’s keepers shined her on, indicating, “allies believe that Palin is a frivolous figure who is unworthy of an audience with the Iron Lady. Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts."
On the other side, we have Weiner and his weaner. Jeez I’m sick to death of this story. Look. I think the guy obviously made some hopelessly immature and stupid decisions. Men! Whaddayagonnado? They never grow up and they never stop obsessing over their own genitalia. You can’t even ask, “What was he thinking?” Because the obvious answer is, “He wasn’t.”
And now Nancy Pelosi is calling for an investigation. What a world! What a jerk! Weiner was a jerk for sexting his schlong to some bimbo who obviously felt she could score big in revealing this. Stupid thing in the first place. But before he came clean, he had to come up with these junior-hig-like it-wasn’t-meisms. I love this. “My Twitter account got hacked.” F’God’s sake! Hacked. This is the same thing as junior claiming that he can’t find his homework because the house got robbed. Sure thing, Tony.
Breitbart got hold of only your Twitter and was able to finagle his way into your business. Obviously his handlers got to him, sat him down and told him the story of Bill Clinton and his famous “Ah did not have sexual relation with that woman …” Best way to get it behind you is to come clean.
Now there’s this racist pig who is somehow managing to convince Californians to pass a law banning the practice of circumcision. Circumcision is not the issue. You can argue one way or another, pro or con, and you would be correct assuming that your arguments are well reasoned and well presented. But think about this.
Circumcision, although performed on infants that are not Jewish, is based upon a very fundamental Jewish precept surrounding old world visions of cleanliness. Is it relevant in today’s United States society? Probably not. But it is still routinely practiced by Jewish parents throughout the world, the United States and yes folks, even California. Therefore, does this law have a ghost’s chance, dare I say, a prayer, in passing? Hell no. It’s a fundamental imposition on freedom of religion.
The advocacy of the law is, of course, vacuous. But the bile that’s feeding this current is nothing short of disturbing. Matthew Hess insists that his advocacy has nothing to do with anti-semitism. However, he produces a comic book couched in super hero garb. A blonde haired chiseled featured Aryan hero type called Foreskin Man fights his evil nemesis, a loathsome looking cackling bad guy with a long black beard, big black hat and long black clothes, looking suspiciously like an orthodox Jew, whose name is, get this, Monster Mohel. For those who don’t know, a mohel (pronounced moil) is a designated holy man who is religiously and medically trained to perform circumcisions. The sort of propaganda being spewed here appears the same as the type of anti-semitic posturing that was done in Germany after World War I, complete with gross stereo typical depictions of Jewish features. “It’s not anti-semitism, it’s anti-mutilation.” He says.
Spin, spin, spin.
Don’t how about history, how to behave in public and how to be a human being?
Just keep talking fast. Maybe no one will notice.
posted by Marty Brounstein @ 10:59 AM
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