Marty's Bon Mots (Selections found in: Glad You Asked)

I became very concerned for my liberal persuasions the other day.  At the same time, I also became quite concerned that a new phase of intolerance had just swept over my otherwise benign composure, transporting into me into the realms of my father’s vast capacities of intolerance.  

You see, I scheduled this meeting at work.  During the meeting I asked what I considered to be a genuinely plausible question.  Apparently this one gal not only considered my otherwise reasonably placed query less than a plausible question, she considered it downright stupid.  So stupid, in fact, that she felt it landed right within her particular authority to throw low level insults at me and laugh at me at the same time.  This in a meeting with several of our colleagues.  

My first reaction was to shrug it off and ignore it.  But the laughter persisted.  “Ok.  Enough.”  And the laughter persisted.  My attention was focused and the eyebrows were raised.  “Ok.  Enough.”  And the laughter persisted.  Now the attention was piercing, the eyebrows raised further and the decibels increased.  “OK.  ENOUGH!”  And the laughter persisted.  At this point, my decades of counseling kicked in.   Recognizing the problem I have with uncontrolled temper, I had the ability at that time to remove my rage and objectively recognize it for what it was.  In my mind, I had two options.  I could either start screaming and throwing things, or I could extricate myself from the situation before irreparable damage could occur.  The latter option was selected.  My writing materials were gathered, I stood up, announced, “I don’t need this” and left my own meeting.  

Let me back track just a bit.  This is the second time I’ve been the recipient of my colleague’s inclination towards disrespect.  She called my work bullshit.  The stuff I do is the stuff people hate to do.  I do the paperwork, the legal long range type of regulatory and administrative type stuff that auditors inspect.  In announcing what she thought of my work, she hit a nerve and I unloaded on her.  

A number of thoughts ran through their respective courses as I seethed and stewed in my office.  “I know what I’ll do.  I’ll lodge a personnel complaint against her for creating a hostile work environment.”   I then indulged everyone’s inclinations towards viewing the video tape and chastising oneself for not saying or doing whatever scenario you reconstruct.  However, the most prevalent thought that managed to control the actions with which I was about to engage rang true.  Specifically it repeated a life lesson I learned the hard way a long time ago:  Don’t make decisions when you’re hot. 

And so I remained and stayed quiet until I called my wife at which time I expressed my concerns regarding co-workers, misogynism and having to work in general.  

In truth, there was no small piece of me that expected my wife to rush towards the sisterhood corner and chastise me for being such a pig.  In fact, this was one of those occasions where she listened patiently and attentively to my rant.  To my surprise, she actually agreed that the person at issue behaved in a manner unbecoming of a colleague.  However, she did take the time and opportunity to remind me of the fact that, as of late, I had been acting with a rather profound hair triggered temper for one inexplicable reason or another.  

This she explained to me by pointing out that I have a strong need for physical outlet and, as of late, I have been sorely lacking in this type of output.  

To this end, I wholeheartedly agree.  I still am of the opinion that my walking out of the situation, given my state of mind, was probably the most intelligent thing I could have done at that point.  

But the larger concern was still for myself.  That is, the first thing I did was not to level my darts at an individual, but rather to characterize an entire gender.  

Well, that ain’t right.  

I suppose what I need to do is recognize yet another major flaw in my crazy patchwork of personality foibles and try to mend that one, too.